November 2004 Archives

when 'real life' mimics art...

You know when an oft used metaphor, clich� or act finally makes sense?

Perhaps it's part of growing older, but the way people act and the things that happen to them in books, films and on television is becoming more and more familiar to me.

I don't mean to say that people have been doing exactly the same things in art for ever (have they?), but rather that many times when I am watching something I have an 'I know what that's like' moment.

It's happening a lot lately.

The other day I had a near miss in my car. If you were watching me on The Josh Show you would have seen it coming a mile away. I was driving along, listening to tunes (New Buffalo) at volume and generally enjoying the drive back to work from Parramatta.

Then I noticed a freakin' fly!

Flies do not belong in the car.

So I'm driving along the road, doing all the driving things one does (looking at the road, refraining from crashing too much), all the while I'm trying to shoo this fly out of the window.

Just like it happens on television, I'm being mindful to keep my eyes on the road, but each time I look away, it's for just a little longer. That damned fly keeps moving a little further from me.

Then I get the bastard. Caught him. Trapped! Ensorcelled.

I look up in my triumph, and not twenty meters from me, in the middle of Victoria Road is a stopped car!

Nooooo!

Brake!

Slide!

Stop!

I'd say about ten centimetres separated us in the end.

Phew.

Like I said, I've seen this scenario play itself out countless times in the media, usually it's at night, the distraction is a dropped CD, a broken radio or a spilled drink, and usually it ends with a jam-sprayed truck or tree, but it felt very familiar.

If anyone was watching The Josh Show and has a tape/rip/capture of the moment and can send it in, lemme know, I'd love to see it.

slow slow slow

slow

slow

slow slow slow

my brain is slow now

heat and tired and bored and desiccation

symptoms of slow

reasons for

slow

Steps as follows:

1. Go to embassy/consulate general


2. Hand over receipt


3. Wait


4. Receive receipt


5. Sign receipt


6. Wait


7. Receive passport


8. Check passport


9. Smile

...that I'm bored?

No? Well I am.

Very.

For some reason, this week has been going extremely slowly. In-cred-ibly, slowly. Monstrously slowly.

Slower than a sloth that's been dead these past hundred years?

Well, that's hard to say, that sloth could be catapulting through space on a speeding comet, which would not be very slow. However, that sloth could also be stuck in some sort of time vortex which slowed him down relative to us so that a second for him was a year for us.
...
Would that be slow?

I'm not sure. If we could see him, then it would look like he wasn't moving at all, but dead sloths (slothes?) don't move very much anyway, so it would be hard to tell.

The point is that I'm bored, this week is going slowly and I'm obsessed with the speed of dead sloth animals.

Sloth! Sloth! Sloth!

I called the Japanese Consulate General, my Visa has been approved.

Huzzah for all da ladies in da house, Huzzah!

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A good idea, yes.

Just don't get caught...tell them you're programming, tell them it's perl.

You might actually be telling the truth.

Too difficult being this ridiculously over-heated.

I quit.

No more being too hot.

I refuse.

Have to stop feeling this way.

I must.

Damn that's cold hot.

Antibiotics, cream, cotton balls instead.

Toe Surgery is a great thing to say. Why? I dunno, I guess the following reasons are okay:

1. If you mumble, you sound like you say "Joe Surgery", one of Snoopy's lesser known identities.


2. If you don't mumble, you give people visions of bloodied toes and pliers.


3. You remind people of the plight of the Toe Surgeons.


4. It is fairly underused expression, so you really hit people with the full impact of what you are saying.

So say it loud, and say it proud!

A possibly evil, and definitely old scoundress

Ugh, I feel ill. I was browsing the ABC News Site today, when I came across this:

Australia's most famous female aviator, Nancy Bird Walton, has been sharing her love of flying dying with seriously ill children.

(Emphasis possibly mine, I'm not really sure)

Her love of dying? Why, that's criminally insane!

And here I thought old people had given up on their plots and chicanery.

::The end?::

Today is the one year anniversary of last year's happy birthday michael post.

Happy one year birthday anniversary dude.

Enjoy the agricultural lifestyle my friend, I'll see you in a year or so, and talk to you some time before that.

Oh, if you're looking for a cool street art project, then look no further!

Had my first mango of the season today, as well as two white nectarines.

Yum.

The taste of mango makes me think of verandas, white summer light, cold beers and late night music.

Excellent.

Long live the Arafat.

Erm, anyway, Yasser Arafat has died in a Parisian hospital sometime today. What is this going to mean for future Palestinian/Israeli relations? I don't know.

What I do know is that it's a pity I only just found out that Yasser's nickname was The Fat. A pity, since I won't be able to use it much now, seeing as though he's dead.

Goodbye Yizzle Arizzle, your name was never the source of my amusement it could have been.

Recently I have been reading books about cities and places, and people that fall in love with them. I read a small book by Peter Carey on Sydney, which I loved. I'm reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac, and I've been searching the blogosphere and reading wikitravel pages.

Mostly, I'm interested in equipping myself to really see cities and places. I'm only just starting to get a feel for Sydney as an organism and I'm looking forward to returning to see more of her.

Meanwhile, I've got more organising, furniture moving, insurance applying stuff to do, but any preparation for travel is still pretty exciting for me, so I don't mind.

If you're interested in cooking something interesting and tasty, try heading over to Jared's new food blog, called Gourmet Thursday, Robin and I read it last night, instead of actually eating.

I applied for my visa today, hopefully not too late in the game. I will start pestering them (the Japanese Consulate General staff) on the 22nd, asking them in worried tones about the status of my application. I hope to bother them into action by December 8 at the very latest.

As you may be aware, this December 8 is the 24th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination, however there are even more reasons to celebrate! It's also some dude's birthday.

Huzzah for everybody!

W is for Dubya
A is for American
R is for Republican

I'm feeling a little guilty at the moment. While I certainly didn't want to Dubya to win, in some way I wanted the Americans to share our pain. I wanted to feel like Australia wasn't the only western democracy heading down the road to conservative economic-rationalistic doom.

But really, that's not only schadenfreude, it's just plain stupid. Australian politics (especially recently) have been heavily influenced by our American cousins, a move away from a conservative gun-happy, fear-mongering government in America might have put the kibosh on our trend towards the right.

Where will we invade next? Will we need an excuse this time?

Bleh